From the Editor’s Desktop: People Matters (Premium)

This is the longest time we've spent outside the U.S. I was hoping it would provide some clarity, but I only have some answers and, predictably, even more questions.

As I write this, we've been in Mexico City for almost three months, and we still have over a month before we return home to Pennsylvania. But the amount of time we're spending here isn't the only unique aspect to this trip. When we arrived, I did something unusual for me, something that I hoped would be a small step towards addressing one of my biggest personal shortcomings. I reached out to several individuals and couples we've met here in Mexico City.

It's probably not obvious why that's a big deal, for me or just in general. But I'm not good at this kind of thing. Like everyone else, I have family, friends, and acquaintances--the "hello" people--and I see them or not on whatever schedules, and birthdays and other milestones come and go as time passes. But sometimes too much time passes. I don't speak with, see, or even text or email some of these people. Depending on the person, this may or may not be problematic. Most seem to have a similar experience, and some even seem relieved if I mention it, apologizing, when I do see them or speak with them.

And so I stepped outside my normal insular routine and started sending messages, mostly via WhatsApp, because that's what everyone seems to use for everything in Mexico. In some cases, I knew we wouldn't see these people; for example, one couple we met with a few times last November had left Mexico City and is now traveling through Southeast Asia. In other cases, I wasn't sure. Some might be here, or not, during this stay. But whatever. We're here. This is the schedule. If you'll be here, too, we'd love to see you.

The responses were wonderful and a pointed reminder of why my normal behavior in this regard is so wrong. This is a change I maybe can't make, not permanently, or whatever. Or maybe it is, I don't know. But as with so much else in life, all I can do is try. And trying, in this case, felt like the right thing to do, from a mental health perspective, or maybe just from a normal human interrelation perspective. I don't know what this is. But I do know that me doing this pleased other people, and that did feel nice. Perhaps that positive experience will help me take the next step, which is to keep it going.

I mention this now because we met with one of the couples I'd reached out to last night. The man lives in San Miguel de Allende, which is about three and a half hours northwest of here, and his girlfriend is from the extreme southeast of Mexico City, at least 45 minutes from here, and they see each other here in the city every few months. This was the first time they did so since January--we had just missed them then--and they were with a friend we'd not met before. So we met at one of our favorite cocktail bars in the nearby Condesa neighborhood, and then had dinner at one of our favorite restaurants...