The 2019 Event Was A Disaster

Why should I buy a Surface device? Why should any regular consumer go to best buy and instead of shopping around, instead of asking a Geek Squad for comparisons and input, instead go straight to the Microsoft section to buy their Surface device because they already knew before they entered the building that the Surface device was RIGHT FOR THEM.

Apple clearly defines what it means to buy an Apple product. You are trendy, tolerant, cool, intelligent …… you a special … so special that we even eloquently package your device because you deserve an “unboxing experience”.

What does it mean to own a Surface device?

If we were to use the 2019 event to figure this out …. it would be a disaster.

Panay came out, looking like a nerd that was trying to look hip, spoke like he was in Quaaludes with long awkard pauses. He was boring, so boring and lethargic that he had to remind us … multiple times … how pumped he was.

Then they send out a woman who is not important enough for me to even remember her name, who proceeded to cuck and insult her husband .. on stage .. live … TWICE. Is it sexist to bring up her vocal fry which is a highly irritating voice equivalent to nails on a blackboard to a lot of people?

Panay then acts super paranoid about revealing the weight of a device … while revealing the device itself. It was a bad look.

Videos and music was really out of place considering the nerd vibe going on. The whole setting looked like a seminar in a UFO convention at the Marriott. Kiss ass clapping at inappriopriate times, lasting too long. And they didnt even cast the screen of the devices to the big screen behind them when they were pointing out things like a new icon bar on the Neo. Panay brags that you can hold the Surface laptop for a long time in a way no normal person would hold it for a long time.

Is this what owning a Surface device means?

After viewing that event, this is what i associate with “Surface”: boring, monotonous, disrespectful, irritating, paranoid, lazy.

People don’t buy Apple because its better. They dont even buy it because it’s prettier (even though they will say that is a reason). People buy Apple TO MAKE A STATEMENT. Because have that Apple logo … says something about the person. It virute signals an image to other people.

The Surface lineup .. is just a lineup of devices … in a world of HP’s, Dells, Asus, Lenovas, and Razors. Nothing special about them. It says nothing when you buy one. It means nothing when you own one. It has no identity.

The 2019 event was horrible and it seems like nobody wants to admit it.

It failed to inspire.

It failed to make me want to wake up at 2 o’clock in the morning and wait in line for their product.

it failed to make me realize I needed their product.

and most importantly, It failed to define what it means to own what they were selling.