Welcome to the Post-Productivity Era!


Microsoft are pleased to announce that their recent focus on productivity has culminated in the move to the post-productivity era with the October 2018 update (1809).

The deletion of all your user files will massively reduce the effort required to do any work at all! No more tiresome updating of user files, and look how clean that My Documents folder looks.

A complex AI program will ascertain whether you are ready for this new era, so if you still have user files following the upgrade don’t despair, Microsoft are almost guaranteed to delete them in one of their future updates. And with the current tempo of updates you shouldn’t have to wait more than 6 months to get these exciting changes.

This is seen as an early step towards the post-Windows era, where some future update is anticipated to not only remove your user files but also the entire operating system.

All of this has been made possible by Microsoft’s decisive move to a post-testing world several years ago, and now we’re really starting to see the benefit of such a bold strategy.


Comments (18)

18 responses to “Welcome to the Post-Productivity Era!”

  1. JustDavid

    I guess we need a universal SARCASM font . . .

  2. Tony Barrett

    Nice read. 1809 has been a complete clusterf*ck for MS. So much negative press and terrible PR for them. They really do need to take a year off, go back to the drawing board for Windows Update and FFS, just go with one annual update. Confidence in Windows has now sunk to rock bottom, and people will be just turning off or blocking updates altogether, because they can't trust them.

    • jchampeau

      In reply to ghostrider:

      Agreed. Just yesterday I took a new PC out of the box and fired it up. It had 1703 on it. The first thing it did was simultaneously download the July 2018 and the October 2018 cumulative updates for 1703, then a reboot or two later it downloaded 1803, then another cumulative update. There was seemingly nothing intelligent going on, artificially or otherwise. This from a company that claims to “Amplify human ingenuity with intelligent technology.”

  3. Bats

    This sounds like a follow up commercial to the one Common and the AI guy, who said "I need to make it possible...because it's so important to do."

  4. generalprotectionfault

    OK, I'll admit I Iol'd.

    Reminds me of a post I saw on twitter a few days ago -> "Best File Cleanup Tool: Storage Spaces vs Disk Cleanup vs Windows Update?"

  5. waethorn

    This is funny, if it weren't so sad and truthful - at least for the people still using Microsoft products. Lots of my clients are getting scared by Microsoft now.

  6. dfgadg

    Haha! nice

  7. FalseAgent

    this is a bit of an over-reaction, no?

  8. jimchamplin

    Soon, the post-software era will dawn. Everything will run on a server in the cloud. You won’t even have to interact with it!

  9. jean

    even though I agree with "it being unacceptable" - a bit more realistic point of view tells me:

    this is the 7th iteration (including in-place upgrades of previous OS versions) and it did affect less than 1 out of 10'000 users (if we trust those numbers) - it's still a multitude of magnitudes better than ANY MTBF of any Storage Device - which (Device Failure) would put the user without (proper) backup into the very same situation.... just saying

    but statistics sucks: when you are affected likelihood immediately jumps to 100%

  10. StevenLayton

    I think the fact you didn't put an emoji or smilie at the end of the post confused a few overly sensitive people into thinking you were serious. Or maybe some people have no sense of humour.

    Very funny!

  11. Orin

    Thanks for the laugh. I got a kick out of this.

  12. ErichK

    I bungee jump, and, backups? Pfft.

  13. irfaanwahid

    What the hell are you even talking about?

    Your post is more mind twisting than two upgrades per year.

  14. AnOldAmigaUser

    And we all thought "All of your files are just where you left them" was just something they were putting on the screen to kill time and vaguely disturb us. Turns out, they were celebrating.